June 2012
4 posts
7 tags
Jun 11th
316 notes
4 tags
Jun 6th
4 notes
7 tags
Diarrhea of the poem
shitmystudentswrite: Then the poem shits to death.
Jun 4th
315 notes
Anonymous asked: What kind of plunger would your recommend if I told you I was having trouble with mine?
Jun 4th
May 2012
2 posts
Yep. →
May 8th
1 note
La Blague: Toilets. Where's Monica? →
maliag: People in movies always do things in bathrooms and with toilets that I would never do in real life. Like sit on toilets with their clothes on or grip the rim of a toilet while puking (like in “Unfaithful” when she’s in the hot French dude’s bathroom and grabbing the toilet like it’s his body,…
May 3rd
1 note
April 2012
4 posts
6 tags
“Listening to classical music in the bathroom was a GREAT decision.”
Apr 21st
9 tags
The Mushroom Question
Life crisis solved.  I’ve been eating mushrooms every day for 2 weeks and some strange bubbly magic has been happening to me.  I’ve finally figured out why.  PEACHES TOO?  Fucking traitors.  
Apr 20th
5 tags
Apr 6th
11,755 notes
5 tags
When I was little,
I used to think I could only poop immediately after I peed.   That’s science.
Apr 4th
March 2012
5 posts
7 tags
Curiosity
What is the pooping situation in the show “New Girl.”   I mean… I kind of hate the show, but I continue to watch because I’m so curious to see if they’ll address it.  Seriously.
Mar 28th
7 tags
Mar 17th
389 notes
7 tags
Sometimes
my day is kinda ruined when I pee on my hand.  But only sometimes.
Mar 15th
8 tags
US City Faces Toilet Paper Crisis
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17344145 Oh shit!   Just another reason why I hate new Jersey.  
Mar 13th
14 tags
I'm in a waterfall of emotion
You could say Spring Break thus far has been like a ride, a water ride that is.  Visiting the beautiful city of Charleston with some great friends was a wonderful way to begin.  Unfortunately, I can never really escape the awkward grad life I live, even when I run away to a different city.  This is my story. We were crashing at my friend’s parents home for the weekend, but had just eaten...
Mar 7th
February 2012
13 posts
13 tags
Not much makes me want to vomit
But this story really, actually does.  A leaky plane literally shit on a couple chilling in their backyard.  This may be my new worst nightmare. http://bossip.com/549307/making-it-rain-poo-on-them-hoes-airplane-lavatory-leaks-liquid-dookie-on-long-island-deck30346/
Feb 28th
12 tags
Celery: A miracle in the making
In regards to my last post about cupcakes, I’ve been eating a lot of celery lately.  Why?  BECAUSE CELERY IS AWESOME.   Detox Diet Super Food - Celery is highly recommended in most detox diet plans as a cleanser to add to your juicing recipes. It has excellent cleansing properties that help to aid digestion, regulate body fluid by acting as a diuretic and curbing sweet cravings. So I...
Feb 23rd
11 tags
Dear Diarrhea....
Did I ever tell you that I am allergic to dairy?  Well I am, and last night I stuffed three cupcakes in my mouth within an hour.  Let’s just say it’s not going to be a great day.
Feb 22nd
2 notes
8 tags
“There is nothing worse than the feeling of a cold toilet seat.”
Feb 21st
1 note
6 tags
Feb 16th
15 notes
12 tags
Upset.
I just stumbled upon this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kgUOlt_E7cU)  Watch it if you want to be angry/disappointed.  1 - What the fuck Nickelodeon?  No preteen girl wants to see their heartthrob sing about turds. They’re just not mature enough for that.  2 - What the fuck?  Just in general.  What the fuck?  Turds are getting really bad raps these days....
Feb 16th
11 tags
Feb 15th
8 notes
13 tags
"Swansea University Puts up Toilet Instruction...
Oh.my.  This is absolutely hilarious.  I’m looking forward to implementation in the US. (There’s actually a really good reason that they put these up - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-16983788)  
Feb 10th
9 tags
Nice!
Unfortunately, by the time you get here, I’m afraid it’s too late
Feb 10th
17 tags
Valentine's Day is fast approaching.
What better way to show your loved ones just how much you care then with a message of poop?  There is no better way!   We all hate Valentine’s Day.  Guys hate it because they are required to plan uber-romantic dates, buy earrings, chocolate, flowers, etc for their girl.  Girls hate it because… Anyway, whether you just started dating or you have been in love for 53 years and...
Feb 9th
1 note
15 tags
Have you ever wondered?
How to make fake poop?  Yes, I know you have.  Luckily I have found this video, not only for your viewing pleasure, but for your intense need to play poop pranks on your friends.  I’m planning to do this to my roommate.  I’ll let you know how it goes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfvtkXCojL0
Feb 8th
1 note
15 tags
Feb 7th
3 notes
6 tags
Do you do this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObXrlNDxt5E&list=UUgIG7Uz-yOneiZpqhWGi7vw&index=4&feature=plcp
Feb 3rd
2 notes
January 2012
12 posts
5 tags
“Same shit, different toilet”
Jan 31st
10 tags
Tower of Turd
This is a great article about Facebook and their oppressive ways.  It reminds me of how my cat used to poop all over the house.  Though that wasn’t as funny because it always seemed to be diarrhea. Like cat, like owner.  One day I’ll make an homage to her here, she deserves it. http://blogs.catster.com/the-cats-meow-a-cat-and-kitten-blog/facebook-topples-tower-of-turd/2012/01/20/
Jan 30th
5 tags
Jan 27th
8 notes
11 tags
This is so sweet
America, there is hope!  This kid has potential.  A FUTURE.  
Jan 26th
7 notes
9 tags
Jan 24th
163 notes
8 tags
You should... →
Buy this chair for me.  Not only is it regal, but it’s my favorite color too.
Jan 24th
12 notes
10 tags
Jan 22nd
2 notes
13 tags
I am so excited. →
I didn’t even read this article.  Except for this line, “Today, with South Carolina’s primary around the corner, its role of national turd-disturber”  I LIVE IN A STATE THAT DISTURBS TURDS.  New motto?  I think yes.  Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places Turd-Disturber
Jan 19th
29 notes
9 tags
Jan 18th
2 notes
10 tags
Get out now!
What is wrong with this girl?  She’s got a really shitty, I mean…bad boyfriend.  He don’t appreciate the poo, you know what you gotta do!  I also don’t like the responses from these judgmental people.  http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120115124520AA3CQw5
Jan 16th
9 notes
11 tags
Did you know about this?
I’m a little disappointed.  As an avid reader on all things poop, I had no Idea that the Bristol Stool Scale even existed.  Although I find this scale a little lacking in its breadth of turd types.  What about the Monster Poo?  Ring of Fire?   I took this from Wiki: The seven types of stool are: Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass) Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy ...
Jan 15th
9 notes
7 tags
Jan 13th
288 notes
December 2011
19 posts
21 tags
Dec 20th
4 notes
19 tags
D.A.D.S.
(n) - 1. Day After Drinking Shit 2.  If number 1 wasn’t explanatory enough, it’s a type of shit you have after a wonderful night of drinking.  Usually accompanied by a hangover.  They’re probably ooey gooey, and not in the good brownie kind of way. D.A.D.S.ing (v) - 1.  Turn it into a verb.  Example:  Maria and Kegan graduated last night, we all got really drunk and now...
Dec 14th
4 notes
15 tags
Dec 11th
1 note
13 tags
More Poop Scoop →
A mystery I’m calling on Scooby Doo to solve.  Just remember to give him lots of turdy snacks.
Dec 10th
3 notes
16 tags
Dec 8th
4 notes
17 tags
I give it two turds out of five.  →
It’s a game where you are a monster and you take a crap.  That’s it.  I like the idea, the execution is severely lacking.
Dec 7th
89 notes
18 tags
Dec 5th
223 notes
Dec 5th
28 notes
Anonymous asked: hows your diarrhea? Did it hurt?
Dec 5th
1 note
25 tags
This quite possibly just made my day.
I’m an avid reader.  And when I say avid, I mean I scour the internet looking for any reference to the #2 just for my four followers of this blog. So when I found an article titled, “Why crap books sell millions,” you can imagine my extreme excitement.  More newsworthy Poop Scoop articles!   The tears and disappointment I experienced when I realized he was only talking about...
Dec 4th
9 notes